Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow…. The Art of Slowing

Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow…. The Art of Slowing

Continuing to read a book by John Ortberg “The Life you’ve always wanted” and in it he basically says if you are going to follow Jesus you need to get rid of the hurry from your life as you cannot be moving faster than the one you seek to follow.

So how do I practice the art of slowing, he gives me lots of examples like not wearing a watch (I don’t wear a watch), eating very slowly (I do), trying not to worry about the length of the queue you are in or the traffic lights being red (not so easy). There were lots more ideas and off I went to “slowly think”. My first thoughts were; How do I do that, when I live in a fast paced highly technological world, live in a city that never sleeps, work in a school currently undergoing an Ofsted inspection, live in a house with two teenagers both study for important exams and the cherry on the cake  being the wife of a Baptist Minister. I don’t stand a chance.

So there I was exasperated but reminded of Psalm 46 “Be still and know that I am God” and Psalm 24 “The Lord is my shepherd I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength.” Good verses and very true. Contemplating these Psalms I was suddenly catapulted into a my newly acquired role of photographic assistant (a role I have been called upon to assume many times in the last two years). I found myself sitting on the kitchen floor with a bottle or two of different coloured paints, I squeezed the bottle and the paint shot down into the bowl of clear water, dispersing and creating beautiful coloured streaks in the still water. My son snapped away getting beautiful images of the paint rippling through the water. I was having a great time sitting still watching the dancing colours.

Now I thought, I am that bowl of colourless pure water, sitting still until the first burst of paint lands and ripples down and through my life, pale colours, bright colours, dark colours, an amazing symphony that makes me who I am meant to be. However, the colour took on a whole new image at 4 am the next morning, and as the still bowl resting was suddenly woken and the worries of the world poured in, the paint molecules bouncing around the water suddenly became chaos, giving me nightmares and disturbing my rest. “Give me stillness and slowing I cried out.”

Exhausted and not really in the mood to go to work, I thought, If I don’t slow down and sit still I might actually miss some of “the things”, the colours God is threading through my life. How sad to be in such a hurry that you do not appreciate the Life you are Living.

Praise be to the Lord who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. 1 Kings 8:56. Take time to sit and be still today, to slow down, to spend time with your creator who goes at his own pace and NO HURRYING on our part will make him go faster.

A diary of I know what I Eat, I know who I am

I have been faithfully tracking my weight and food consumption on line since January. I can tell you in great detail what I have eaten over the last 12 weeks, every coffee, piece of cake, bowl of porridge, glass of wine. I know what I Eat and I know that recording this information every day is keeping me on track to the final weight loss goal that I have.
 
When my mother died and I went through her worldly possessions I thought I might find a diary or some journals where she might have written about her life - but there was nothing and I felt very sad that she had not written down any of her life’s events. I have a draw full of journals, they go back at least 30 years, they are not daily diaries or necessarily full of secrets but they trace the events, the ups and downs, the joys, the despairs, the answered prayers and sometimes the mundane thoughts of a girl and a woman who has journeyed from being single to married, childless to a mother, a daughter to an orphan, a church member to a ministers wife.

I know who I Am. My journals remind me of life's struggles and life's joys but they also help to keep me on track in my life as a Christian. I recognise God with me, answering my prayers, sending people to be along side me. They help me to keep looking forward to the Goal. I may not get a Gold medal for my 5% weight loss but I will get a place in an eternal mansion.

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus is calling us. Philippians 3 v 14

A Life Full of Questions - Am I a Saint or a Disciplined Person? Or Neither.

Tomb of St Valerie

Living "The Life I've Always Wanted." has given me too many questions this week. Jesus challenged the Pharisees, the keepers of the law just as much as he challenged those who did not keep the law.

Firstly am I a disciplined person? Am I one who can do what is right, at the right time, in the right way whilst acting with the right Spirit or am I like the Pharisees, sticking to all those rules, schedules and thou shalt do lists and earning lots of points? (I must admit I do like schedules and lists and post in notes - they work for me).

Last weekend a mother visiting to collect her son from my house presented me with a plant and a box of biscuits. "Thank you" I said "What is this for?" "Well" she said "I think you're a Saint."  So Am I a Saint? If I am, which one am I. My Saintliness was born out of the fact that I had hosted a 4 piece heavy metal band for the weekend, one of whom was my son, they had camped out in the spare lounge all weekend, playing music and eating us out of house and home. I googled Saints - and decided I must be the Saint of Heavy Metal.

Then followed my third question - Why did I do this Saintly deed? Because I am a parent and I love my son. And there it was question number four.... What do we do for those we love? We get up all hours, wait up all hours, go out in all weathers, we comfort, care for, provide for, discipline, defend, the list is endless. So now the answer to these endless questions....

Am I disciplined? I hope so; I hope I do things out of my love for Jesus and not out of the Pharisees rules.

Am I a Saint? I don't think so, I am definitely not the Saint of Heavy Metal whom I have just discovered is Fredrich Nietzsche (another story there I think). However I did discover a St Valerie who came to a tragic end.

My "Saintly deeds" are born out of LOVE for those I Love.

But God loves us even more. His LOVE is FREE, His LOVE gives me SALVATION. His LOVE for me cost him his life. I know how much I love my SON but GOD loves us so much more.

1 John 2:15 (Message Bible)
Don't love the World's way.
Don't love the World's goods.
Love of the World squeezes out Love of the Father.

Living the life you have always wanted

Too many thoughts today, swirling round in my head! Too many "hats" to wear, it's safer to stay in bed.
I like Living - I like getting up and seeing what the day will bring. Although sometimes the day is not quite what you expected, it's a good thing we cannot see into our futures. I am just starting a journey with a group of women, we are reading a book together called "The life you've always wanted". We are only on Chapter 1 but it is already having a a profound impact on what I consider to be 'living'. It is the reality of turning 50 this year and my sheer determination to see this as a positive life changing event and not a descent into "I'm nearly 60". The fact that Moses was called by God to lead his people when he was old and not a strong young man and the fact that a woman called Rahab who did not even worship God became an important part of God's plan for Joshua. YES God chooses the most unlikely people, you and me to do his work as part of our 'living' here on earth. Are you going to have an "it's safer to stay in bed day" or are you going to walk with God and begin to live the 'Life you've always wanted'. Chapter 2, here I come! Updates will follow.........

On being outrageous - Flying on wings like Eagles

Outrageous -  I have particularly come to like the word outrageous this year - I have this inner desire to be outrageous, is it my coming of age and the fact that I am going to be 50 very soon? Just how this outrageousness will take shape I do not know, all the things I think about that could be termed as even slightly outrageous for me do not have the slightest appeal. So maybe being Outrageous for God is the best solution. Maybe the feeling that I am 50 now will allow me to speak about my faith in ways I have never felt authorised to do before, so watch out!
 I have been reading Mark 2: 1-12. It seems that Jesus was being very outrageous and upsetting the "religious leadership" of the day by healing and forgiving sins. The religious leadership who should have recognised Jesus, did not, they thought he was too ordinary and insignificant to be God, in fact they thought who was he to heal and forgive sins. It got me wondering about how we see God - how often do we have our own ideas of how, why and when he will come and what he will do. What little boxes do we compartmentalise him in? So BE OUTRAGEOUS today let God out of all the little boxes you have organised him into - let God be free to really reign in your life, to fulfil all those things he has the power and the authority to do. Then you will 'Fly on wings like an Eagle.' Isaiah 40:31 "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with winds like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

Who walks with you in your Life?

There are times when the only place to be is on your knees in prayer, because you know there is no other place to go. Not the best option on a wet and windy night walking the streets of Acton. I just called out in prayer and kept walking imagining I was on my knees. Later in the evening my 18 year old son and I were looking at old photo's from before he was born - right up to the present date, a period stretching 30 years. Lots of events, weddings, holidays, births, adventures, laughter, tears. I began to notice 'people' who had been there through my life, but who did not really have to be, by that I mean they were not related to me. One person was John, not a family member but someone who came into my life with his wife Jenny when I was quite young, they were sunday school teachers and youth leaders - living out the Kingdom of God in their lives. John and Jenny are still there - very good friends, there at many events throughout my life, good times and bad. I sat and thanked God for others who had been there too. But most of all I sat and realised that my GOD had been there too and has sustained me and will sustain me through all things. I reaised how important those special friends were but how much GOD wants us to notice he is there so we can keep pace with him. Present your requests to GOD with thanksgiving and allow his peace to come, removing the fever of fear, anxiety and doubt. Philippians 4:6-7

The beginning of Advent



It's midnight on November 30th and I am on facebook sharing the angst of a teenager away from home for the first time as she realised she will not be sharing in her normal family advent calendar tradition. In fact she has no advent calendar at all. A midnight dilemma should she go and buy one so all will be well in the morning - December 1st. I began to ponder on my Christmas traditions and associations, some I have carried since childhood, others are part of my own children's Christmas celebrations. What are they? The tree (very important in our house being purchased as I type and will be up and festooned tomorrow), mince pies (already had one of those this week), sherry, carols and Christmas card writing (already in the diary for tomorrow evening), the star (pride of place on top of the tree), the nativity (Sunday the 18th this year, rehearsals went well this morning). Actually my list of Christmas tradition in our family is endless. All these things have warm and inviting memories of many Christmases past and bring to mind those who will never celebrate Christmas with us again. But December 1st makes me focus not on my Christmas traditions but on Jesus - as each day of the month I open another door on the advent calendar, I glimpse my saviour a bit more, as I read another piece of the scripture that prophesies his birth  it just reminds me again and again that Jesus is alive, here, right now. He was born a baby, walked this earth and grew to be a man who suffered and died for me and you. Ask yourself this question each day as you prepare for Christmas 2011 "What kind of man is this?" If you do not know - then find out more.